We often hear people say, “We live in unprecedented
times.” If you are like me, you long for precedented times! You know,
plain old, average boring, normal days without fires or floods! Without horrifying
news, political or otherwise. We want a
day when we are not fearful for the future of our fragile democracy. A day when
we don't have to hear about Black men dying in the street or Black women dying
in their beds or immigrant children in
cages in detention. We long for a day when we don't have to cringe when we
hear health statistics of new infections and death from a global pandemic.
Is it wrong to want life to be simpler and more predictable? Not at all! Our collective stress levels are
off the charts. Zooming was a novelty at first but the shine has worn
off . Now there is such a thing as “zoom fatigue" from too much screen
time. The freedom of having more time at home has also gotten stale, even for
many introverts. We want to go shopping or out to eat without fearing that we
are taking unnecessary risk.
The number of things that
concern us and yes, I am going to say it, are unprecedented!!
For me personally, the last
several months have been incredibly stressful. My husband Harry has gone through a health crisis with
several twists and turns. He's much more stable now but our daily lives
have changed.
I have had to learn new medical language, argue
with insurance companies and take up new family responsibilities. Recently, my
sister-in-law asked me how I was doing and I replied, “I didn't cry today.”
That reply came from a person who is not usually a fountain of tears. I imagine you have shed more than your usual number of tears too, whether they have been from sadness or fear or frustration.
What helps us cope in times like these is resilience. Resilience is the ability to recover from difficult experiences and setbacks and to move forward, adapt and maybe even grow. Many of you already have a great deal of resilience from your life experiences as you have admirably shown. I am preaching to myself here!
I hope something I say might give your own resilience a boost.
The good news is that resilience is a learned skill. We can all benefit from having more tools in
our toolbox. Yes, your temperament
and your early life experiences play a part in shaping how you handle things. Experts who study resilience
have noted three personal traits which help us through difficult times: Having core spiritual beliefs, a moral compass
and social connectedness are the foundational tools of resilience
And We can also cope better if we narrow our focus.
What? Aren't we supposed to be global citizens? Knowledgeable about all pertinent
topics? Able to comment widely on Facebook? Not necessarily. A narrower focus helps
reign in our worries. Living in the here and now allows us to better appreciate
what is immediately around us. In such stressful times, it's perfectly ok to
not read everything that comes across your newsfeed.
A friend recently told me she now has to sleep
with a mouth guard to stop grinding her teeth.
I suggested a little less news binging might also help.
Reflecting with a narrower
focus reminded me of a song that has stuck with me over the years. It's by
Tracy Chapman who is a Black singer songwriter of folk and blues who is active
in human rights advocacy. She was raised by her single mom in Cleveland, OH. It
tells of her mother's hard-won life advice to her daughter. It's called “All
that you have is your soul.”
This song was on her Grammy winning debut
album in 1987:
Oh my mama told me
'Cause she say she learned the hard way
Say she want to spare the children
She say don't give or sell your soul away
'Cause all that you have is your soul.
Don't be tempted by the shiny apple
Don't you eat of a bitter fruit
Hunger only for a taste of justice
Hunger only for a world of truth
'Cause all that you have is your soul.
And if all that we have is our soul, what are we do to with that precious gift?
We get advice on that from
today's verse from Micah, who is called a minor prophet with a major message. At
the time of his writing, the northern kingdom of Israel had already fallen to
the Assyrians. The southern kingdom was not learning very well from history.
They were sitting fat and happy and dare I say self- righteous. They were
pretty confident that the fate of their northern neighbors would never happen
to them. The prophets' job at that time was to call Israel to account and tell
them they were whistling in the dark. It was not a popular message.
Micah spoke not only words of judgment but also words of mercy. He tried to show Israel a way out of its predicament.
God has already made it
plain, says Micah. Keep a narrow focus. Don't get swallowed up in the trappings
of religion, doing the right things for the wrong reasons. What God wants from
us is really quite simple.
Treat our neighbors justly
and fairly;
Be compassionate;
and take God much more seriously than you take
yourself.
Remarkable that this minor prophet was also a mental health expert for
those of us stressed out in 2020!
It's also remarkable to me how squarely the three things this verse describe
line up with the three skills most basic to resilience!
Have core spiritual beliefs-
take God seriously
Have a moral compass-treat
your neighbors justly and fairly
Be socially connected-be compassionate and kind.
In these difficult times, We
can find small manageable things to do among these three things in our pandemic
daily lives.
We can smile with our eyes
over our masks and thank the grocery store clerk.
We can call to check on a
neighbor we haven’t seen at their mailbox.
We can take a few moments to write in a journal or simply admire the plants in our yard. One of my art friends in NJ has taken to photographing the insects he finds on his small farm. He is up to 67 different kinds!
When all that we have is our
soul, we don't want to risk tarnishing that precious gift with worry about
things over which we have no control.
Certainly, a pandemic is
one of those things. Is it Possible that we will come through this stronger?
Yes, because resilience is a learned and we can stay open to learning.
Many today are once again finding peace in the
words of a prayer, written by theologian Reinhold Niebuhr between 1932-33 in
the midst of the Great Depression. It was widely adapted by the 12 - step
recovery movement and called the Serenity Prayer.
We don't often hear it in its entirety but
when we do, we know that Reinhold Niebuhr knew something about the three basic skills
of resilience. I hope it speaks again to you today:
God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the
next.
Amen
Lovely and helpful message. Beautiful and touching music. Thank you.
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